Introductions - Cary (they/them)

Hello! My name is Cary.

Image by lisa runnels from Pixabay 

I didn't always go by the name Cary. Not that my original name was horrible, just that because I am Trans (Trans* Non-Binary - they/them) it didn't really fit. I needed a name that was more neutral and fit better who I am. So here I am. Cary.

I am still on a journey of discovery of what that really means, and wow, has it been a journey. One that is not complete yet, and likely will never be. 

I was born in the mid 60's, growing up in a time and in a community that didn't understand what it meant to be queer. That community was (and still is to a large extent) hostile toward the very idea of being queer. That community taught me things that I have had to unlearn so that I could accept myself and who I am. So much so that I have lived my life the way I was told to, rather than a way that honoured who I really was. Underlying a generally positive, happy exterior, lay a piece of me locked away, ridiculed and beaten down. 

Occasionally that part of me would escape and try to express itself, but humiliation and hate were not far behind. Not having had the chance to mature, that feminine part did not understand itself well enough to assert itself and was quickly corralled back into it's cell of shame.

I have always been a person of faith, and about three years ago, at one of those moments where all of me was struggling to know what to do with that secluded little femme, I felt God's grace on my life telling me that they loved me and that the part of me I had tried to rid myself of was OK. In fact, God loved that part of me just as much as the rest. From that moment on, I began to let the queer part of me out more and more and as I have, I have come to understand that this part of me so long reviled is actually one of the most beautiful parts of who I am.

My life has not been a bad one. In fact, things have turned out pretty well, in spite of the conflict going on within me. I am now the proud parent to four children - three of them biological, and have a wonderful partner who is doing their best to learn to understand me. My journey has taken me through many experiences and careers that have also informed who I am as a person and have form my identity as much as the queerness I now claim proudly. I have been a church pastor, a network administrator, and now a photographer. I have enjoyed all three and although they may seem a very eclectic mix, they actually blend nicely. As a pastor, I learned to be and share with others. In IT, I learned skills useful to a digital world. And as a photographer, I have developed my creativity and means to express it.

Image by Dariusz Sankowski from Pixabay 

As the originator of the idea of the Trans Canada Project, I am proud to be a part of what it is becoming, and look forward to applying all of who I am to telling the stories of other queer folk who just want to be themselves. Much of the world still does not know who we are. We are still separate and alien to their experiences, and I hope that telling our stories will show that we too are human. Real people with real lives. 

I look forward to working with other queer, trans and non-binary people as we share our stories with each other and with the world at large.

This is my life, and this is my story.

Cary