What follows is a transcript from Heidi's video, which you can watch here: https://youtu.be/qr7XEG6XefY
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I Identify as being a two-spirit person. I use the pronouns
they/them/she/her. I've got grandchildren. They call me kokum, I'm kokum and
noki. Noki to my three biological grandchildren, kokum to three grandchildren
that have adopted me as their kokum. I knew fairly young, but I still had
gotten married because that's what we were supposed to do. I married a man and
honestly there's nothing I would change about that because I have my three
beautiful children that I had, and my grandchildren, so still I wouldn't change
anything with that. But it was hard growing up.
Especially at my age, I know that I look younger than I am,
which Is fairly deceiving - I'm fairly lucky from my mother that way, my mom
modeled for kodak so my mom's a very beautiful woman - but when I when I came
out to my mom, I had been seeing my partner for probably a year. But I had
already been dating before that. But when I met my partner, I knew they were
the one and I came out to my mom. It was funny because my mom was sitting in my
kitchen, and I said it to her and then I started to go down the stairs to the
basement. At that time, I smoked cigarettes and the only place we'd smoke in
the basement where the wood stove was; you open the wood stove, the smoke would
blow out. So, I came out to my mom that way and my mom says, oh I already knew.
I've known since you were about 12. so why didn't you say something to me?
My mom's been absolutely fantastic, very supportive. I've
been very lucky that way. My children are absolutely supportive. I've been
lucky that way.
At school I think people knew but didn't say anything
because I was that type of person that if people were getting into a fight, I
got in there and stopped It. People didn't mess with me in school but then
again, I was also 5’ 11” then, mind you I was about 119 pounds, but I played
hockey. I was into the sports. I played ball, I did all that stuff and people
just didn't mess with me In school. But I wasn't out to people then either. And
It was weird because I picked up on who also was possibly gay but not out. And
one of my really good friends happened to be one of them.
I didn't have - it wasn't as much of a hard time when I was
younger, other than that I did go, and I was doing what society thinks we
should do by somebody born with female genitalia; to marry a man and then to
have kids and I did all that. No, I wouldn't change any of that because my kids
are my world to me, they're also, you learn something every day and that's part
of my learning.
I know that as I was getting older and still with my
ex-husband, having that hard time with that relationship, after my son passed
away, I saw it as life's too short. And he wasn't always the kindest person, my
ex. So, when we finally separated and I started dating, I met my now partner of
12 years. I'm very happy.
I worked In the Anishinabek Police Service for 17 years and
most of that was while I was with my ex-husband, so nothing was out there. Even
for the first few years of my husband and I being separated and my partner and
I being together nothing was said In that police force. Not that I would have
had an overly big Issue In the police service but It was how community would
react as well. And from what you see with all the signs and stuff for our pride
with the community, we have very many members in our community that are
identifying as two spirit LGBTQ.
But yeah, when I got into construction, that was the biggest
thing. Not letting It out there for safety reasons. But I left that job with
construction to become an indigenous mentor for 2SLGBTQ+ people with
Nogojiwanong friendship center. I took an over $20 000 pay cut to do It, but I
wanted to help support, and get supports for our people that are having those
issues. Too many leave their homes and they become part of that MMIW2S (Missing
and Murdered Women, Girls and 2-Spirit People). It shouldn't be that way. Our
two spirited people were always accepted they were highly regarded In our
communities and we needed to get back to that.
So by taking on that position I did with Nogojiwanong
friendship center It was to help bring back that ceremony to our two-spirited
LGBTQ blessed people. That we all sit in that circle together. It's the way it
always was. All the people whether they're red, yellow, black, or white, that
circle we have, that medicine wheel we have, is that we all sit on the same
level in that circle. And our two-spirited people could sit anywhere in that
circle in our ceremonies. We didn't have, we didn't gender our people. We
didn't even have words for he or she before colonization.
We would have, basically some of the ceremonies, one of them
is like the basket and the bow; that child with rights of passage, instead of
gendering that child, that child went into that ceremony, went into that lodge,
and they chose either that basket or that bow on what their spirit was leading
them to, what their gifts were not what the genitalia they were born with. and
with what they came out with Is what their responsibilities were.
Myself being a two-spirited person I would have a hard time
choosing because I have that male and that female spirit. And I would have
wanted that basket and that bow, not that I was being greedy, but because I
assume both those responsibilities. Our two-spirited people are seen to be
people that walk in both worlds. We walk in that spirit world, and we walk on
mother earth. We're able to communicate between the two.
And my big thing is getting all the communities to do the
same thing, all our first nations communities to bring that acceptance back, go
back to the ways we use to have. We didn't turn our people away. We didn't turn
anybody away. We accepted them for who they were, those gifts they had to offer
to the community. And by our pride flag that we've done in our community says
we all belong in the circle and that's just it. It's getting everybody back into
that circle, that healing's not going to happen until everybody's accepted.
Everybody's back in that circle.
We have skirt shaming, so if you're born with female genitalia,
it seemed that you’re to wear skirt to ceremony. We didn't always have skirts.
Why would we assume somebody must wear that for ceremony? You're talking to
creator. You're bringing those ancestors into that ceremony. They don't see
what you're wearing. It shouldn't matter what you're wearing.
And why does that have to be part of acceptance? let people
be who they are and love them for who they are. For so many of our young ones
that's why they leave. They don't feel they're accepted in their communities.
They go missing. And If our communities accepted them more for who they are,
then they wouldn't be leaving we wouldn't be losing these children.
We not only did not have words for he or she before, but we
don't have words for goodbye either It's "baamaapii" until we meet
again.
Miigwach (thank you).
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