Am I "Trans" enough?

When dealing with gender identity, things are not always clear cut. Am I a man? Am I a woman? For some they know for sure, for others - like me - it's a lot more nuanced, and that makes it hard to believe that I am "Trans" enough to claim the label.

Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay 

Try to define what makes one a woman, or a man. Is it your physical components, or is it your taste in clothing? Is it your hormone levels, or your sexual attraction? Is it your abilities in the kitchen, or your affinity for children? Is it your abilities at sports or your affinity with the outdoors? None of these really capture it completely. Is it that indefinable knowledge that this is just what you are?

You might as well ask am I ___ enough? (Fill in the blank with ANYTHING). We are never fully something and if we are inclined towards something, we have at least some semblance of that thing within us. Most of us fall somewhere in the middle, sometimes closer to one end than the other. We live on a "spectrum".

For example, I'm a photographer currently by trade. I was not always a photographer. Before I was a photographer, I was a network administrator. Does the fact that I'm now a photographer make me any less of a network administrator? Yes. Does it mean I have lost the knowledge of the experience of being a network administrator? No. Both are now part of who I am. Am I "Photographer" enough? I'm probably not as good as I have potential to be, and definitely not as good as some of the best photographers in the world, but am I enough? Absolutely. I don't have to be the world's greatest photographer to be one.

One of the biggest struggles for me are the clothes. I love women's clothes, but it is hard to look "female" in them. I have wondered for a long time why there is such an attraction to them. I finally concluded that it was not about the clothes at all. Recognizing that I was Trans put a better perspective on the issue for me. I do not dress in women's clothes simply because I like the clothes (though I do), I dress in them because they affirm who I know myself to be - even if they don't fit the best. Isn't that the reason any of us pick the clothes we wear?

Maybe I'm not "Trans" enough to pass completely. Maybe I still get sir'd even when I'm in a dress. Does that make me any less "Trans"? Absolutely not - though it does make me a little sad. In my own heart of hearts, I know that I am not straight, and that is OK. And if sometimes the masculine overtakes the feminine in me, does that make me less Trans? I would say a resounding no.

Take the advice of so many who have gone before us and forged the path; Stop worrying about whether you are good enough... you are. The point is to be honest with yourself about who you are, and to live that authentically. There is always room for growth, but know that you are loved, you are amazing and you are most definitely good enough - keep on believing!

Want to read more? Here are some other great articles:

https://medium.com/gender-from-the-trenches/am-i-trans-enough-ea1271c64364

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/yes-youre-trans-enough-to_b_9318754

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