Not so long ago, I despised the word queer. As an adjective, it means "Strange, Odd". Instead, I focused on fitting in, on being normal, as far from strange as possible.
This is part of why I hid my gender identity for so long. More than that, it's what prevented me from accepting my gender identity.
When you think about it, what normal person ever accomplished anything? I mean, was Van Gough normal? Was Tesla normal? Is Elon Musk? Can you think of one person who has accomplished great things, who is also "normal" in every way? By embracing the thing that made them different, they contributed something amazing. And we all benefit from those differences. That thing was the thing that made them who they are, and sets them apart from everyone else. So why is it so desirable to be normal?
Perhaps, the desire to be normal is a reaction to bullies who think they are better than us, who want us to fall in line behind them so they can feel more important. It is definitely "safer" to hide who we are, to not be ridiculed by those who choose to deny the diversity of the world. Much like a factory that pollutes the environment around it unaware of the long term problems it is causing. But when we stand up and call out from our differences, we all benefit. Without the environmentalists, those factories would pollute the world, but without the factories, we would not have the products we all enjoy. The symbiosis is complementary. It does not have to be adversarial. But for it to work, both have to see the other as important in their contribution.
None of us is any more or less important than any other. We all have differences. And that diversity contributes to the greater good of everyone.
It is difficult to feel free to move to the edge of the bell curve. It is difficult to sit somewhere at the right hand end of the curve and accept what is at the far left. It is that fear that keeps so many of us from recognizing our own differences, our potential, our greatness... our queerness. The reality is; if we were the normal one, or that person at the other end of the curve were, the whole graph would shift and our world would be out of balance. So isn't it better to accept others? To learn from what they have to offer - even as we recognize that it is not for us? And isn't acceptance that we are not like others also a recognition of each of our individuality? Isn't it simply a recognition of diversity?
These days I am embracing my own queerness. I mean, I don't expect that will make me something "great" or special in any way, but accepting and embracing myself as I am means I can be authentic, and being authentic means that I can contribute to the world in a unique way. When I do not express myself as I am, I have so much less to offer.
In the end, isn't that better for us all? Isn't a diverse ecosystem much better than one falling apart because it is missing parts? Remember how we discovered the roll that bumble bees had on... everything? Isn't the world better if each of us embraces our own differences and adds to the diversity of the world around us? Not as something separate and distinct, but an important part of the greater whole. What beauty there is in that!
Yes, I'm different, but aren't we all in some way? Every one of us is queer in some way, and we all benefit from everyone embracing who they are! Share it with the world!
Embrace your Queerness!
Love you all!
Cary
