The Space Between

Life has a way of finding balance. 

You have heard it said that Nature abhors a vacuum.

In the space between male and female, there are those who would have us believe there is nothing; that these are only the binary ends. There are those who would have us believe there is only a vacuum in between, but, as Voyager is showing us, even where we think there is nothing, there is something. Those of us who are non-binary are living proof that there is definitely something in the space between the binary.

In fact, there are many genders that fill the space between the binary ends of the gender spectrum. We are the LGBTQ+ community, and we have been around for as long as there have been the binary poles. 

Those who do not believe we have always been here are actually part of the reason we have remained unseen - a self fulfilling prophecy if you will. The stigma placed upon being queer has made it a difficult place in which to live. So, as a matter of safety and social acceptance, many choose not to disclose their identity, making us all more invisible. 

It is no surprise, then, that in this time of growing understanding and protection of LGBTQ+ people, we are seeing more people “coming out”, because they feel safer to do so. 

This is not a trend. There are not suddenly more LGBTQ people being somehow "created". We have always been here. We have always existed. Many just chose not to see us, and many of us chose not to be seen. Now, however, we are feeling more comfortable with sharing who we really are, and so you are starting to see more of us.

Living in the space between gives those of us in the non-binary universe a unique perspective on those living at the poles; one that I believe can benefit all of humanity, helping us find balance and beauty in the entire spectrum and bridging the gap between. In fact, to silence our voices actually hurts all of us. Non-binary people have been forced to listen to the cis-normative narrative their entire lives, and many of the struggles we face are deeply rooted in the shame of not being what people think we should be. The vast range of identities in the spectrum of LGBTQ persons can actually bring balance to the views of cis-binary individuals who are deeply divided by their own gender, creating issues such like hyper radical feminism and misogyny. The narratives and views of the LGBTQ+ community can actually help us bridge the gap and ease the tension that exists between those binary poles.

By learning about, accepting and including those in the space between, we now have a means to unite humanity - and keep us united. We become less polarized and more unified because the bridge between demonstrates that we are all essentially connected. Diversity is no longer seen as diluting the whole, but rather our diversity COMPRISES the whole.

If you find yourself strongly defending the binary, take a moment to ask yourself why? What is it about making sure everyone conforms to the binary that is so important? You are perfectly happy being binary, but what about those in between? Should they be less content? Ask yourself, what can I learn from someone who is gender non-conforming?

And if you yourself are gender non-conforming, love yourself! You are important! You are special, and you have a place of honour in this world. You are the glue that can bind the binary together and make us whole again. Ask yourself, how can I contribute to a better world? How can I help others see through my eyes?

You are all special, binary and non-binary alike. You are valued and needed.

Love you all!

Cary

If All The World Were Roses

Do you like roses? I like roses. They are pretty, they come in different colours, and they smell nice. 

Everyone loves receiving roses when they have accomplished something; after a play, a graduation, or on special occasions like Valentine’s Day.

Imagine a world where the only flowers in the garden were roses. Wouldn’t it get boring after a while? If your entire garden were filled with only roses, it might be pretty for a while, but it would get boring quickly.

When we look around creation, however, there are hundreds and thousands of different kinds of flowers. Tall ones, thin ones, wild ones, cultivated ones, ones that bear fruit and ones that smell nice. There are even some that smell bad and some that are poisonous. Together they all form an ecosystem that often times thrives because of the diversity, different parts benefiting from other parts in a million interconnected ways.

It’s spring time here in Ontario, Canada, and the flowers are in bloom. I look out the back yard and there are two apple trees that have the most beautiful blossom on them. There are tulips, magnolias, and a host of other kinds of flowers that I couldn’t even name; my partner does all the gardening and I just enjoy the view. I’m glad my yard doesn’t just have roses in it, pretty as they are. I enjoy the diversity.

Isn’t it the same with us? Isn’t it boring when we look out and everyone is the same? Doesn’t diversity bring joy, entertainment, new thoughts, innovation, unexpected perspectives, greater learning, a lighter workload, and so much more? It takes all kinds of people to make this world beautiful, and if we were all the same, it would get boring pretty quickly, just as it takes a wide variety of flowers in a garden.

So next time you look at someone who is different from you, whether it be because of race, or colour, or beliefs, or gender, or sexual preference, or intelligence, or physical strength, show them some love. Tell them how much you appreciate them for who they are, and the diversity they bring. Share your own diversity with them - the things that make you different - share your perspectives on things and listen to theirs with open ears and open mind. Learn from each other. Your world and the world around you will be richer for it.