Meet Jennifer (L) (She/Her)

What follows is a transcript from Jennifer's video, which you can watch here: https://youtu.be/rxHC2cAZwn4

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Hi, my name is Jennifer Anastasia Levine. My pronouns are her and she. I am an IT Technician by trade. I received my credentials in 2005 I think it was, without looking on them. I just got them changed over last year to my new name and so far it's been pretty good. 

Photo by: FOTOGRAFIA INC

When I was 10 I told the doctor I wanted to wear girls clothes and they put me in a youth facility in Kitchener/Waterloo called Lutherwood, and there some bad stuff happened. But however, that's behind me. The worst part of it was over by the time I was 14, with Lutherwood, Mom found out what was going on at Lutherwood and pulled me out of there as fast as she put me in. I moved forward. At 15 I met some people at a center in Guelph called “change now” and one of the girls knew somebody in Toronto at the 519 and they introduced me to her, and she got me a meeting at the Clark Institution (I believe that's what it was back then in the 90s) The Clark Institution gave me a pamphlet on all the stuff I had to do to transition in the beginning, so I took that, read over it. Well I was only 15 at the time, so ultimately this was no good for me because I had to wait till I was 18.

Before I came out it was a single parent family, three girls, one boy, and I don't know where that boy is now. He's somewhere but I don't know where he is. And he was off doing everything by himself. And I’m self-taught, so everything I've learned, I taught myself, including my makeup.

It wasn't all at once. There are people that knew in the beginning and people that didn't know. A little bit of experimenting here and there and everywhere; that's just the way it came in. It just, it flowed. Kind of flowed that way. 

Party in Toronto made my life so much better. It helped me come to terms with some of the stuff that I was dealing with. It made me feel more comfortable being in that situation, because I had the support from people acknowledging that it was cool. I wasn't doing something stupid. I was considered cool to wear makeup. Like, for me to get up on stage as a DJ and put a dress on, man I’m rocking it, I’m cool, I’m the DJ that they want to hear, because I’m playing the tracks that they want to hear. So, I can. It doesn't matter how I look on stage. 

I still get on stage and I get cheered for, no matter how I look. So that whole community was a big support to me, and I've been DJing since I was 12. I got into it to get away from drinking, the law, and doing stupid stuff and it was an outlet for me. And it still is an outlet for me. I worked for four of the main… four of the biggest clubs in Toronto, downtown Toronto. I was made. I didn't have any problems with anybody. People knew me from the club. They knew I was DJ smiles. (Now I’m DJ Linus and DJ DSG) I had a good job. I had a good life. 

When I was 38, I went to Dr Tom and I came out to him. The day I went to Dr Tom's office, I was sitting outside having a cigarette, I was just shaking and I said okay, you remember that thing I said I had to talk to you about Dr Tom? He's like, it's time? I said yeah, it's time. I said, you see my skinny jeans, right? He's like, yeah. Doesn't say nothing about it because guys wear skinny jeans. Well, I said my jeans are women's. The only thing I’m wearing right now is my coat, my hat, and my t-shirt. Those are the only things that are men's. My shoes, my underwear, everything is women's. I said, normally I wear a bra, except for when I go out and stuff, and I, and he was like yeah. Like I said, he said that explains a lot. 

And when I talked to Dr Tom, when I came out to him. I’m like please don't look at me like I’m crazy because I know I’m not and I know this is a thing. And I know. He's like, that's good, okay? Well and then he started talking to me about Dr Maras..., I believe it's Marasala, and she works at the Quest clinic in St Catharines, and he wanted to get us connected with Quest. Well, after three months of Quest not calling us back, I took it upon myself to go on the internet and I went to the Sherburne clinic in Toronto. I got the pamphlet on how to prescribe hormones and blockers to transgender patients. I read over it, before taking it to Dr Tom and I gave it to Dr Tom. Dr Tom goes, okay let me read over it. And in a few days, I had my prescription for hormones. 

And in 2000 I moved to Niagara which made it better on me. I didn't have to hide myself where I had to hide myself in Guelph because it was homophobic as you would say, and it wasn't. Getting out of Guelph and being in Niagara has been a pretty good thing for me, and I don't think I would be where I’m at without Dr Tom. He deserves a high five. So, I think he jumped into this with no knowledge.

I wasn't waiting. I had name change papers signed, put in the mail, on its way, six to eight weeks my name was coming back to me. Dr Tom signed off on it. I went from Jeffrey Thomas Michael Burke to Jennifer Anastasia Levine. I took on my father's last name because my last name Burke was not my last name. It was my older sister's last name, who my mom was married to her father and not mine. So, I took my father's last name and I said to myself anytime I got a chance my name I would take my dad's last name. And I did that. 

Yeah, my coming-out story… My Mom is a superhero. She called me from the hospital, she's like yeah, they just asked me who my next of kin was and they said Jeffrey Burke, and she's like, no, my daughter Jennifer Levenne. And she just calls me up, she's like yeah, I just called you my daughter, and yeah, best part ever. My mom knew because I had all the clothes, and she was always telling me to throw them out. Except with mom, mom's like my bestie. She's been there my entire life. She still lives with me and we get along real well best roommate in the world. So mom, superhero mom, high five.

My mom is my supporter, she's my bestie. Can't talk to her about some stuff. When I mention surgery, she kind of tilts away from it, but now that I’m getting to my surgery letters, she's now gonna face it, that I’m gonna be laying in bed and she's gonna have to help me and what not. And she can't do a lot because she's got a bad back and stuff. So I’m trying to find ways around surgery to not be in bed as much as I’m supposed to and be able to get out of bed. 

So, yeah, I used to go till three, four or five o'clock in the morning. As soon as I heard those birds chirping, I knew I had to get home, because Mom knew I wasn't home. She'd kill me. And I’m afraid of my mom! She scares me. And to this day, my Mom scares me. 

Well the girls were great, because boys weren't allowed in the bedroom but the parents knew that I was raised with all sisters, so they knew I wouldn't do anything because my mom would kill me. I would go over to their house, have sleepover movie night, whatever on the weekend, Mom would get rid of me for a night, right, so she was happy for that, and it was just like, let's put makeup on him. So okay, whatever. Right? After a while, it just became a thing with me, and I could walk down the hall and go in their bedroom, but their boyfriend was at the house and he couldn't even go down the hallway. He was pissed.

I had a girlfriend that… I bought my kilt for St James, my knee-highs and my blouse. But I had it at a girlfriend's house and I would go to their house and change in the morning and wear my kilt to school. 

Over the couple of years being in Niagara, I didn't have anybody to talk to. Mom was in Winnipeg the past two months. I met Steven. Thank you Steven, high five. For shits and giggles I put an ad on a photography site for Toronto, explaining I’m a transgender model looking for a photographer to help me build my portfolio. Because I modeled from the time I was 12 to the time I was 14, or 10 till 14, and Mom always had me busy with my sisters figure skating, modeling, yeah, I did everything the girls did, pretty much, except for hockey. And Steven, I met Steven. We did the first photo shoot paid me $60 for three hours of my time, which was to me, I really didn't care about money. I just cared about photos, and I met Steven, and Steven took the first photo shoot, and we did the first photo shoot, I think, three months ago. 

Ultimately Steven went home, and he was looking over the new photos, and he sent me a link. This link with my photo on a website. And when I started going over the website and seeing what it was all about, and I was reading about it, and I was seeing that they're transitioning later on in life, I started reading over more to see what kind of information that they gave and they give pretty much accurate information, how to start and do your transition, and how to go about things. There are some things that were there that I had access to, like PFlag - high five to PFlag. 

I've talked to some other female models in Toronto, that I’m supposed to meet in the summertime for my birthday, hopefully, if COVOD is gone. And because of Steven, my life is moving in a different direction. And it all extends from me putting that out on Facebook in a modeling group. So ultimately Steven has given me a new reasoning of get out of bed. High five Steven! 

Ultimately, it's because of Steven, I've been given that reason to get out of bed now, and I've been given more energy, and I've been getting the adrenaline that I had when I was in clubs and feeling good, the way I felt like I was back on stage 

My biggest dream for the future is marriage, a happy life, to get my son back, who was taken from me when I came out. Yeah my son is a big part of my life seeing him again would be probably the best. That's the biggest thing I've been fighting over, with my anxiety and my depression, is my son, because just the smallest thing set me off. I would tell my son that, you know what? Dad is still here I’m still Jeffrey Thomas Michael Burke to you. And the day I told my son I changed my name, I explained to him that I wasn't happy and when I told him he was like dad as long as you're happy. That's all that matters, and this flows back into where I said if you want to talk to my mom because my mom will say, she asked my son the same thing and he says as long as dad's happy. 

I had an issue at Tim Hortons one time. Out of respect for the two older ladies that were there I went into the men's bathroom and said women's because I knew the old ladies would go and complain. So I went in the men's bathroom and three kids came in, threw stuff over and caused a problem, and said I was making noises. Yeah, I was making noises. I was taking a poop! 

Ultimately I've had issues with the bathroom but I’m not gonna let that hamper me! Please let me use the bathroom. All I wanna do is go pee. 

Man I even got stopped in Guelph by a cop that busted me when I was a teenager and he ran - he thought I was smoking a joint in my car. I was sitting downtown Guelph having a cigarette. I just drove to Guelph in the middle night for coffee. That was it. I sat downtown Guelph having a cigarette in my car before I go back to St Catherines and, cop pulls in, thought I was smoking a joint, comes up to my car and he's like, ma'am, err, can you please sit up? And I said... I sit up. He goes, Mr Burt? I says no it's Miss Levenne. He thought my id was fake because I hadn't received my birth certificate back yet. My driver's license was changed to my new name but it didn't have my gender change so he thought my id was fake. 

How can people help? People can help by not calling me sir. They can stop calling me he. They can stop referring to me as male pronouns and treat me as an equal, letting me use the women's bathroom. I am not going in there to do anything else but do my business. So that's what people can do to help 

I am set on my goals. I've been battling addiction. I have been dealing with issues from my life, childhood, and stuff that's happened to me over the years; bad things, evil things. And I've been... since finding my boyfriend Alex, I have come to accept some of the stuff that's gone in my past and throw it out there. I've been working with my psychiatrist to find things like; I have ADD. There's been so much that I've come to acknowledge and accept. 

From the day that Dr Tom signed my name change forms, I dropped that dress on. I didn't care what people thought or what they looked... I put that dress on and I went out. Hair, no hair, makeup, no makeup, I put my dress on, went out, dropped my forms in the mail, took a picture, posted it. And it's been fine sailing. So I don't see any challenges in my near future. I see battling infections and stuff from surgery as a possibility. But I I’m looking at that as hopefully Dr Tom will get me a PSW worker that can help me get up and out of bed, because alex can't lift me, because he's had back surgery. And my mom can't lift me up. So, I’m gonna need help getting up out of bed when I come home from the hospital. And that's about the only challenge I see that I faced. 

I started my transition and the best thing I could have ever done for myself. 

Peace, love, unity, and respect. Four words I've learned over the years that I live by, which is what everybody deserves, including myself, and I wish people would do that for all of us, every day, when they see us.

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If All The World Were Roses

Do you like roses? I like roses. They are pretty, they come in different colours, and they smell nice. 

Everyone loves receiving roses when they have accomplished something; after a play, a graduation, or on special occasions like Valentine’s Day.

Imagine a world where the only flowers in the garden were roses. Wouldn’t it get boring after a while? If your entire garden were filled with only roses, it might be pretty for a while, but it would get boring quickly.

When we look around creation, however, there are hundreds and thousands of different kinds of flowers. Tall ones, thin ones, wild ones, cultivated ones, ones that bear fruit and ones that smell nice. There are even some that smell bad and some that are poisonous. Together they all form an ecosystem that often times thrives because of the diversity, different parts benefiting from other parts in a million interconnected ways.

It’s spring time here in Ontario, Canada, and the flowers are in bloom. I look out the back yard and there are two apple trees that have the most beautiful blossom on them. There are tulips, magnolias, and a host of other kinds of flowers that I couldn’t even name; my partner does all the gardening and I just enjoy the view. I’m glad my yard doesn’t just have roses in it, pretty as they are. I enjoy the diversity.

Isn’t it the same with us? Isn’t it boring when we look out and everyone is the same? Doesn’t diversity bring joy, entertainment, new thoughts, innovation, unexpected perspectives, greater learning, a lighter workload, and so much more? It takes all kinds of people to make this world beautiful, and if we were all the same, it would get boring pretty quickly, just as it takes a wide variety of flowers in a garden.

So next time you look at someone who is different from you, whether it be because of race, or colour, or beliefs, or gender, or sexual preference, or intelligence, or physical strength, show them some love. Tell them how much you appreciate them for who they are, and the diversity they bring. Share your own diversity with them - the things that make you different - share your perspectives on things and listen to theirs with open ears and open mind. Learn from each other. Your world and the world around you will be richer for it.

Meet Stefanie (she/her)

What follows is a transcript from Stefanie's video, which you can watch here: https://youtu.be/R6j6S2Z57qY

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So, my name is Stefanie Pest. My pronouns are she/her and I live in Essex, Ontario, Canada. I have been working in the automotive industry for 37 years.

I was born an assigned male at birth. Nobody asked me anything as a baby and the only thing that doctors, you know, assign sex with, is your private parts. Nobody asked me if I was transgender, which I found out later in life, much later in life, that I am a transgender woman.

My identity became known to me when I was 46 years old, which was 12 years ago. However, when I was seven, I realized that I just didn't fit into a boy role in society. That was a struggle for me for me for my entire life until I discovered that I was trans.

I would seek out women's clothes just to express myself in a female way, which was very helpful in my understanding of who I am.

I was born in the 60s, so society at that time frowned upon, you know, something other than what you see.

Through puberty it became more intense, that I wasn't really a male. And it was difficult to, you know, function. And that was never revealed to anybody. I went through all the male rituals, pretty much pretending, but that was expected of me, a young teenage boy, then later a man. It was expected of me to marry a woman, have children and so forth.

And through all that time it was a struggle. It's like something I thought I would have to live with forever, which was very despairing. But then internet came, and you find out things; that you're not alone, that other people are struggling too. So, my gender identity as a trans woman became evident to me. My bell was rung, and you can't un-ring a bell.

So, I am married, and I told my wife that moment I found out. She looked at me and said, "my dear, I knew that." She knew before I did, and she became very, very supportive of me. It was very difficult for both of us to go through that process but it's very, very critical that you have this communication between partners that you're sharing your life with. That was the key to our success and in our marriage, we are still married, and we love each other so much.

So, coming out as a trans woman was not immediate. This was back in 2008 when I realized that I was a trans woman and, what to do? What is the next step? Next step was, I need to transform my body. So, you search for ways to do that.

I chose to do things on my own because I was not sure society would accept who I am authentically. And so, I didn't go to a doctor and I decided to self-medicate with phytoestrogen. These are herbal pills that mimic estrogen and they were helpful because before that I was, you know, because of my depression I would have antidepressant drugs and they never ever work. But when I started taking phytoestrogens it seemed to make, you know, a change that... a change occurred. A good change. I felt more content with myself.

But it was not enough. I always wanted more. And so, it came to a point where I did have to go to a doctor, and they prescribed pharmaceutical estrogen. I went to see an endocrinologist who I'd been saying before because I suffered from prolactinoma which is a tumor in your pituitary that produces prolactin which is a female hormone that women produce when they're pregnant. So, it was an indicator that maybe yes this is for sure valid; my identity is as a woman.

When I started those estrogen, that hormone therapy, I noticed a magnificent change. I became more content with myself and my life changed dramatically. But I was still not out to the world I was only out to my wife Michelle and I have two boys that were in school and we were in an empty nest situation. And so, it was easy for me to be Stefanie at home, but in the world in a society I was still my former male self.

It came to a point where I did feel confident enough to come out. I came out to my children. My oldest was married so there were three and we got them together. And we this was on a Victoria Day in 2016 that I came out to them and they were very supportive. But when they discovered that I had known I was trans back in 2008 they became sad because I had to hide this from them.

In hindsight I probably didn't have to. I knew that I had the love of my children and that they would be supportive. And then I decided, oh I must do more, always more, and I started electrolysis and laser treatments to remove my facial hair, my body hair, to be more feminine

Yeah so, the beginning of my coming out actually had a signal that I was ready to come out.

There was a survey produced at our plant that wanted to find out about the makeup of our worker workforce, you know, male, female, religion, and all that stuff. And so, when it came down to the form saying, you know, your gender, I kind of was wondering what to put there. I wasn't completely out so I decided to go see our women's advocate, which was unusual for a male to go see somebody like that. But they were very, very supportive and um I didn't know if I was the first one that came up with this but they told me that it was perfectly fine to put whatever I feel comfortable putting on that form. So, I made a new line and I put trans woman and that felt so so freeing, to do that, exposing myself to a survey which is a private matter. But for me to do that was a big step and that was actually only a month before I told my kids and I think that might have been the trigger that I was ready to come out and face the world as Stefanie. a trans woman, so then I decided to actually come out on my birthday July 7th.

I went to the commissioner. Here in Ontario, it's required to give an oath to say that you are changing your name, changing your gender, and I did that on my birthday in 2016. I came out to my co-workers at Chrysler a few weeks after that. We had a shutdown and I told him the day before that when we come back from our vacation that I will have transformed from a male to a female. And I had much, much support from my coworkers and I was gladdened by that. That was another stigma that we have in the trans community that we're not accepted, and I was very, very fortunate that the people around me supported me in that way.

So, the other thing while I was at the women's advocate and discussing my gender identity with them, they told me that I was not the first. There was a trans man that had come out maybe a year before I did. And they suggested that I contact this person because they were running a peer-to-peer support group for trans people in Windsor called trans spectrum. And I was shocked, you know, I was overjoyed that there was somebody else that was going through the same thing I am.

And so, I decided to reach out to this person and attend these meetings that they had. I think it was once a month that we would go to and other trans people would come and we would, you know, relate our experiences, you know, being trans in our community. And that was the start of a wonderful friendship.

It also was the beginning of my advocacy because listening to other trans people, and this was my first exposure to other trans people, I had no exposure previous to that at all, and I was amazed at how privileged I am, that I didn't go through some of the discrimination and prejudice that most trans people experienced. My decision at that point was I have a voice that may help my own community; my new community that I’m a part of, that I could speak and have that courage to do that for others that do not have that ability with the privilege, the white privilege that I have, the privilege of a really good job, a loving supportive family, this is not a common occurrence in our trans community. And that needs to change.

In our trans community we have people that are not able to speak for themselves because of the stigma that we face in society right now. We are dependent on the majority of the population, which is the cis population,

those are people that are assigned a sex at birth and are content with that, as opposed to trans people and gender diverse people that are not. We need the cis population to educate themselves. We need them to advocate and become allies for the trans community at levels that most people don't wish to do, to protect the, you know, the most vulnerable in our society. I’m not just talking about trans people, but people living with disabilities. There's so many people that require these barriers to be taken down so that our society can flourish.

I am so happy to be a part of the family that I am in. My wife Michelle has been by my side since the very beginning of my trans journey and I want to thank her for being such a loving partner to me and my children, Michael, Courtney, Patrick. That they have been so supportive of me and they still call me dad, because that's who I am. And I can't express it enough how much love I have for them that they are part of my journey.

I would like to say that through my coming out only five years ago that the people that I have met I have created an extended chosen family that has shown me love and respect of who I am. And I would like to thank them from the bottom of my heart, and I know that those people have gone forward and been allies to our trans community. I would wish that would grow exponentially and that would change the way we see the trans community now in society. That we should be accepted as the people we are.

We are human just like everyone else.

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